Did you know that there are Elder Things born without tentacles? It's TRUE. LITTLE LAME TIMMY CTHULHU was only born with three PSEUDOPODS! BUT a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE HAPPENED! LET Me tell you about how LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's childlike FAITH in Christmas and SHUB-NIGGURATH made a CHRISTMAS MIracle! It ALL started when LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's crutches broke! "THING-THAT-SPAWNED ME?" it asked "I know we don't have enough money to buy me a new crutch AND get me a puppy. But I really, really want a new puppy! I can limp to Elder God's school!"

LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's THING-THAT-SPAWNED-HIM wept. "OH! IF only someone could help us!" It cried, knowing that as a responsible THING-THAT-SPAWNED, it had no choice but to buy the crutches knowing that it would break at least two of LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU'S hearts.

That night, before oozing into it's sleeping nodule, LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU said his prayers "SHUB-NIGGURATH and SANTA, please bring me a new puppy for Christmas!" Meanwhile, out in the big city of Lost R'yleh, a puppy just happened to escape from the Pound! Many ELDER THINGS were chasing it, and it was scared and alone! It ran and ran, and where do you suppose it ran? That's right! Right through LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's open window! LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU was overjoyed! "THING-THAT-SPAWNED ME! THING-THAT-SPAWNED ME!" It cried! "Look! Santa and SHUB-NIGGURATH heard my prayers and brought me a puppy!" And with that, LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU popped the puppy into it's gaping maw and crunched it up it three bites! Yummy! It was the BEST Christmas EVER!

That puppy COULDN'T have escaped from the pound on it's own, and even if it had, only the guiding pseudopod of SHUB-NIGGURATH could have guided the puppy straight into LITTLE TIMMY CHTULHU's gaping maw!

So remember, if you're down and out this Christmas, remember to have faith in SHUB-NIGGURATH and remember LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's Christmas Miracle!